


in your mind, out of sight

by silent_seungmin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Blindness, Camping, Established Relationship, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mentioned Stray Kids Ensemble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:33:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29348988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silent_seungmin/pseuds/silent_seungmin
Summary: It's autumn, and it's night, and as Jisung spends the last hours of his weekend with Minho, he makes a wish, the same wish he has been asking for years.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29
Collections: Drabbles Challenge for Chaotic Writers





	in your mind, out of sight

**Author's Note:**

> Written for International Fanworks Day

It’s autumn.

It’s autumn, and soon the leaves will turn gray and fall, silently dropping to their death where they will only be part of crunching shoes against the pavement. The birds will fly out, snow will replace, and strawberry smoothies will be swapped with hot chocolates.

Jisung can feel it in his bones. The wind is chilly, even if it is only October. He shivers with each gust, even if he’s wrapped up in his largest jacket, holding a warm cup of apple cider. He closes his eyes and breathes in, taking in the frigid air and feeling it burn in his lungs. There’s a lingering taste of smoke on his tongue and he smiles; it makes him feel alive.

He feels Minho sit down to the right of him. An arm draws him closer to the older’s side.

“Chan says this is most likely the last trip of the year,” Minho says in his ear.

Jisung already knew. It was almost too cold to go camping now, yet they had risked it. 

Soon it will be winter. Soon, the group will disperse, the eight of them, all onto their own adventures for the rest of the year. Minho and Jisung will return to the comfort of their home, their little, shabby apartment located in the heart of Seoul on 25th Street, with their three cats and obnoxious neighbor and constant turbulence of traffic outside, back to the hectic work schedules intertwined with soft kisses at both of theirs exhaustion. Seungmin and Hyunjin will move to America to pursue their new careers, both fundamentals of filming a movie in Hollywood, where they will most likely be too busy to call even once per week. Chan and Felix will have gone to Australia to visit their families and spend the winter there, both of them vets. And Jeongin and Changbin will stay, Jeongin managing the café down the street from Minho and Jisung’s apartment and Changbin producing for an idol group. 

“I’ll miss them.”

“You’ll see them in April again,” Minho reminds.

“April’s a long way.”

Minho places a plate of food in front of him, the smell of chicken and rice wafting up Jisung’s nose. 

“It’s your favorites, all separated just how you like it.”

Jisung smiles. He picks a chip off the plate, licking the salty flavor, and he hears Minho’s grunt of annoyance. 

It’s nice sitting next to Minho, sharing the heat between them. The bench they are sitting on isn’t the most comfy. There’s a nail poking his left thigh, and he’s pretty sure the table is sloped somewhat. It’s not bad. 

He finishes his food and curls up in Minho’s lap. He can hear the chatter around them, Hyunjin’s high-pitched giggling to his right, Changbin’s hearty laugh to his left. There’s a bit of teasing, Felix is whining, Jeongin is laughing too, Chan well—Jisung doesn’t know where Chan is.

They turn around to face the fire, Jisung finally letting the warmth seep into his body. Still, he lets himself hide into Minho more, breathing the older’s scent deep. He smells wonderful, a tint of vanilla masked in the rice and chicken they had just ate.

He is content.

Part of him knows he should engage in conversation with the others. Today was the last night of freedom; tomorrow they will wake up and pack up at the nick of dawn to drive the long journey home. Jisung will be half asleep and no use, probably slumped on the bench as Minho, Chan and Seungmin clean up. 

But right now, he’s content sitting with Minho, the older’s slow breathing helping him nod off to sleep. He could stay in this position forever, letting the world revolve around the two of them as they sat together, just them two, holding each other. This night seems insignificant but significant at the same time; they were constantly together, but tonight, they are closer than ever.

Jisung doesn’t want to move, but Minho shifts a bit and asks, “Do you want a marshmallow?”

Jisung nodded, and he feels Minho poke around, supposedly for marshmallows. After a while, Minho tells Jisung to open his mouth, and he does.

“It’s hot!” he exclaims as Minho stuck a marshmallow in him. The older laughs and quickly blows on it before Jisung lets himself swallow.

It’s these little things that make him happy. Minho feeding him, playing but also making sure he didn’t burn himself. Minho slowly wrapping his arm around him, pulling him closer once again, just so he could lay his head on top of Jisung’s.

“The stars are pretty tonight,” Minho says. “I can see the Milky Way.”

“That’s nice,” Jisung mumbles.

“So pretty,” he says, “just like you.”

Jisung smiles.

“Am I really that pretty?”

“You’re always pretty in my eyes,” Minho murmured.

The sentence makes his heart tighten in his chest. It is an overwhelming happy sensation to be called pretty, but at the same time, it hints of bittersweetness and guilt.

He longs to see what Minho sees. Is he really that pretty?

“What time is it?” Jisung mumbles after a while. “I’m getting sleepy.”

“It’s...11:11,” Minho answers. “Make a wish.”

“I wish…” Jisung says, letting his voice trail off. “You always know what I wish.”

Jisung sits up a bit so that he is face to face with Minho. He lets his hand run over the older’s face, from the top of his hair to the forehead, slowly onto Minho’s eyes, feeling the skin sink in and the eyelashes tickle his skin, down to Minho’s nose, where barely any air came out, and down to Minho’s lips, which were parted slightly. 

He longs to see Minho. He longs to see everybody. And as he squints towards the older, trying to make the splotches of color focus, it sharpens a little, just barely. Maybe it was a trick of light, maybe it was just purely Jisung’s imagination, but for a split second, Minho’s face comes into view. Jisung sees the amber in his eyes, the golden flecks dancing in them as the campfire flickers in front of them. He sees Minho’s pale lips, a soft dust of pink on them. He sees his ruffled hair that sticks up everywhere from the wind.

And then it’s gone.

He grips Minho’s hands, and Minho understands what he’s going through. Jisung hears everybody behind him, the endless chatter continuing, the laughing and giggling ringing in his ears, and he lets some tears fall.

He wants to see everybody so badly, to be able to see what he feels instead of only relying on his brain and logic. He wants to watch their mouths open in laughter, their eyes crinkling into happy crescents, their ears turning a soft shade of red. He wants to see the stars in the sky, the Milky Way, the chips he had eaten for dinner, the shape of rice, the texture of chicken, the sheen of the nail that’s lodged in his thigh. He wants to see the campfire, get close to it until he sees every flame in slow motion, he wants to see the wind, the leaves flying through the air as they drop down to the ground for him to crunch. He wants to see everything, not nothing at all. He wants an image to everything he thinks of. He wants to see Chan, Changbin, Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin, and Minho,  _ especially Minho _ , to see how pretty the older was, to  _ see himself _ , to see the beauty that Minho gets to see.

_ He just wants to see _ .

“Sometimes...sometimes I wish I wasn’t blind.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/silent_seungmin)


End file.
